Total Recall's New Trailer Is Winning Me Over

#2 On My Most Looking Forward To List... Total Recall

Check out the latest trailer. This looks like it has everything I would want from a sic-fi action flick and has just enough "wink to the audience" to make it work.

Opening June 29th: Where Is This Week's "Tent Pole" Movie?

Summer Movie Season, A Time Of Big Stars, Big Franchises, Big Movies...  Well, Maybe The Last Weekend Of June Doesn't Count As Part Of The Summer Movie Season.

When you glance at any given summer each weekend looks to be the week of something. Take this summer, we have had, in order:

Does This Seem Like A Summer "Tent Pole"
Movie To You? 
Quit Snickering!

• The Week of The Avengers
• The Week of Dark Shadows
• The Week of Battleship and The Dictator
• The Week of MIB3
• The Week of Snow White and the Huntsman
• The Week of Madagascar 3 and Prometheus
• The Week of Rock of Ages
• The Week of Brave

Did all of those movies work? Of course not, but they were all big and had big stars, they all felt like SUMMER Movies. You know what a summer movie is, it is a "swing for the fences", a summer movie is putting all your chips on one number, knowing if you're right it will pay 40 to 1. That is summer, "go big or go home". Most of the rest of the year hollywood hedges their bets. They release films that they hope will do well, but if they don't it doesn't really hurt the studio, they release films that don't need to get to $150+ million to be considered a success, they release films like Magic Mike or a Madea movie or a Mark Wahlberg comedy. If I didn't know the date and you showed me this weeks scheduled releases I would assume it was April or October, not so bad as to be September or January but not good enough to be December, I may be able to talk myself into the first week of November, but Summer? No way. And yet, here we are. Please don't misunderstand, I am not saying these movies are bad or that this weekend is worse than the rest of this summer's weekends (they aren't and it isn't), its just this isn't what hollywood normally does on the last week of June.

Nora Ephron's Mount Rushmore

R.I.P.
1941 - 2012

Quite sadly Norah Ephron passed away today. Anyone who has written anything even mildly creative with any attempt to infuse those words with comedy has to have to utmost respect for who Nora Ephron was as a writer and storyteller. She brilliantly mixed female and male voices with banter that was both witty and real. Nora Ephron wrote 14 movies and I believe this should be what her Mount Rushmore would look like:

5 Lessons Hollywood Has Taught Us About The End Of The World

Bruce Willis Wont Always Be
There To Save Us

You can learn a lot from movies. Not a lot of things that are actually "useful" mind you, but a lot of things. Like how and when to run through an airport after someone (harder now since 9/11 but apparently still possible) or what not to do when a crazed serial killer is slowly chasing you through the woods (it seems counterintuitive but running away apparently is not the answer). Sure, neither of those examples is likely to come up in your everyday life, but on the off, off chance that you do find yourself in either situation (and believe me when I tell you the airport things is every bit as unlikely as the crazed serial killer) aren't you glad you know what to do? This past weekend with Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World hollywood returned to one of their truly great lessons, "how the world is going to end and what can we do to survive it?" (sadly, sometimes, not often but sometimes, the answer is nothing). There are a lot of thing hollywood has taught us about armageddon, covering every possible scenario for the world's end, and here are the 5 lessons we should have learned.

Lesson #1: The impetus for the end of the world will either be the Hubris of Man or the Insignificance of Man.

PIXAR MOVIE RANKINGS

By, Valerie Edwards

Much thanks to my sister in-law Val who pulled her family and came up with a bigger sampling size for the rankings of all of the Pixar movies. I honestly would have supposed there was more consensus, but it seems like everyone has their favorites and I would never have guessed this order.

Opening June 22nd: What Does Brave Really Mean?

Kid's Movies, Comedies, Historical Dramas (albeit with vampires), Documentaries, It Doesn't Matter, All Of This Weeks's Releases Want To Show Us What Brave Is.

Of course there are a lot of different kinds of bravery and to be fair most movies delve into it in one way or another. In fact, if bravery is simply doing something that you are scared to do, either because it is out of your comfort zone or emotionally risky or truly dangerous, than I suppose all movies, heck all stories, deal with that. Still, few do it as overtly as this weeks flicks attempt to do. I mean, if you were to do a checklist of movie bravery plot points we have nearly all of them covered:

• Defy parents and striking out on your own? CHECK
• Facing near certain death? CHECK and CHECK
• Standing up for what is right in the face of institutional denial? CHECK
• Risking looking like a fool for love? CHECK
• Admitting your a liar? CHECK
• Standing up to bullies? CHECK
• Fighting monsters? CHECK and CHECK
• Facing the literal end of the world? CHECK

What's left? A scary in-laws I suppose. Aliens maybe. Transforming robots who also happen to be aliens. Escaped mental patients in hockey masks carrying knives. OK, so there are a few brave things not covered, but we got a lot of them this week. So again, the question remains, what does brave really mean? To be honest if you don't know the answer these movies probably won't answer it for you, but if you like to watch bravery in action this is the weekend to go to the movies.

What Music Would You Want With You At The End Of The World?

Seeking a Friend For The End Of The World Is Really Starting To Grow On Me

Great little featurette about what music you would take with you for the end of the world. For me? The Who, Zeppelin, The Clash, Jane's Addiction, Stone Temple Pilots, Miles Davis, Mahavishnu Orchestra and a whole bunch of singles from every genre I could think of.

The Top 15 Vampire Movies of All-Time

How Will Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter Stack Up?

This was a kind of surprising process, surprising because I didn't realize how few really good vampire movies there have been. There have been plenty of vampire highs on TV (Buffy, Angel, one of the funniest X-File episodes ever, etc.), a lot of great books (from Bram Stoker to Anne Rice and even to modern, fun and fast Jim Butcher and his Dresden files), and some on film, but far fewer than I would have thought. Most of the vampire movies that have been made fit into schlock or soft-core porn or both like Bloodrayne (nothing wrong with that per se, just not great to fill a "best of" list). Certainly this weekend's Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter won't be schlock or porn, but what will it be? I love the premise and have hopes, maybe not high hopes but hopes, for this movie and since making it on a best of vampire movie list isn't nearly as hard as you would think maybe it will be on here next year.

Ranking All 12 Pixar Movies - Where Will Brave Land On This List?

Of Course My Opinion Doesn't Actually Matter

I'm sure I am far from the only person who has had this thought, but why do we always have adults rank kids movies? Sure, we can say whether or not it is a kids movie that will play to the whole family, we can point out subtle humor, we can even talk about the surprising depth of emotions, but in the end the movie was never primarily intended for us. They were made primarily for kids, so isn't the opinion of kids more important? Maybe they didn't catch all the jokes or appreciate every nuance of the emotional journey, but who cares? If the movie isn't funny and engaging for the core audience it doesn't matter how brilliant the rest of it was. So, with Brave coming out this weekend and it being an obvious time to look at Pixar with the standard awe I figured it would make a lot more sense to see what my son thought. To that end I had him rank all 12 Pixar movies this morning and the order was definitely different than I would have guessed or where I would have ranked them (I included my rankings under each title). So, without further boring ado, here is Griffin's rankings from worst to first:

Happy Father's Day! Aren't You Glad None Of These Guys Was Your Father?

The 10 Worst Father's In Movie History

Maybe Not The Best Father

This weekend Adam Sandler is making a "bad dad" movie. You've seen "bad dad" movies before. From Mr. Mom and Kramer vs. Kramer where apparently men in the 1980's were incapable of cooking, cleaning or caring for children to watching Royal Tenenbaum introduce his daughter as "my adopted daughter" to everyone he meets the "bad dad" movie have been a hollywood staple for years, but how bad are the dads in these movies? Generally the "bad dad" movie has at its center a dad who isn't so much bad as utterly clueless who in the end learns that simply and truly putting your kids first, and in so doing making a visible sacrifice for their sake, is all the redemption these men need. The "bad dad" movie dads are nowhere near the worst dads. Do you want to see some really bad fathers? Here are the 10 worst movie dads of all time:

We Will Never Apologize For Loving Resident Evil

Tell Me This Doesn't Look Awesome!

Opening June 15th: Happy Father's Day?

What Dad Doesn't Want
To Watch A "Hair" Metal Musical?

Because Nothing Says "Happy Father's Day" Like Adam Sandler Dropping F-Bombs and Tom Cruise Singing Def Leopard

OK, that may not be a totally fair shot at the Sandman, no one can deny that Mr. Sandler plays well to men, but a musical? That is the big Father's day gift that Hollywood is sending out to the dads of North America? Why didn't they just move What To Expect When You're Expecting to this weekend and make it a really manly weekend of movies? I mean, shouldn't this be the weekend of Expendables 2, some bad sports movie that has a father/son subplot (you know, like a modern Field of Dreams) and the Sandler movie? Now that would be a Father's Day weekend!

I say all of that and then I think back to my Father and realize that my "ultimate" Father's Day weekend wouldn't have played well for him at all. My top 5 "my dad" movie (films I saw with him and I knew he loved) were (in no particular order):

1. Oklahoma - A serious man with a PHD from Harvard who knew every word to every song of this musical. Trust me, other than his immediate family ANYONE else who knew him would be shocked by this revelation.
2. The Sound of Music - His long-held pat answer for "what is your favorite movie?"
3. The Return of the Pink Panther - Never have I seen a man laugh harder than my father did when we went to this movie as a family (of course, he was not alone, we were all laughing uncontrollably).
4. Marathon Man - My Father and I watched this movie a bunch of times when we first got it on VHS. Shocking only because there is a brief nude scene and I was a teenage boy (again, you had to know my father to appreciate how surprising that was)
5. The Princess Bride - I was in Hong Kong when this came out so I missed it in the theaters. The second I got stateside my dad made me watch this movie, so sure he was that I would love it (and he wasn't wrong).

So, maybe my "manly" Father's Day wouldn't be for every man, but still, Tom Cruise being a "hair" metal god and Russell Brand looking like Joan Jett? We can do better than that for the father's of the world, can't we?

Am I The Last Person To Admit They Still Watch True Blood?

The Fat Film Guy on TV:

Should I Be Embarrassed I Still Love True Blood?

Come On, You Know You Still Watch It Too

I was listening to one of my favorite weekly podcasts yesterday, the Firewall&Iceberg Podcast, when I was shocked to find out that I was supposed to hate True Blood. Apparently it is stupid and juvenile and doesn't offer real character development or progression and any kitsch factor that it might have had when it started has been worn out through its perpetual silliness (I am paraphrasing of course). This was particularly distressing since I just got HBO again in time for the True Blood season premiere this Sunday*. If only I had known a day or two sooner I could have saved myself a few bucks each month. It all leaves me wondering what other crappy things I enjoy do I need to give up (let's face it, anyone who has been a fan of True Blood has always known it was crap, that was one of the reasons we loved it). WWE? The Jackass movies? The Underworld and Resident Evil franchises? Every summer cable show with the exception of Louis CK? Is my only other choice to become a closeted True Blood fan? I'll watch it, laugh at Jason Stackhouse and Pam and Eric and Lafayette and Andy, roll my eyes at most of the rest of the cast and continue to pray that they keep Bill and Sookie apart as much as possible, and most importantly I will keep my viewing secret. I guess, since I am already paying for HBO, that is the way I will go.

*a little HBO advice, I always re-up on HBO at this time because I can catch all of Game of Thrones on On Demand and get True Blood. Then come August when shows like Hung become their Sunday night staple I just drop them, wait 9 months and do it all over again.

Opening June 8th: Am I Too Excited For Prometheus?

Update 6/9/12: Prometheus opens to a much better than expected $21+ million on friday, stronger than other recent notable sci-fi successes District 9, Inception and Super 8. So at least the excitement and anticipation weren't just me.

Is It Unfair To Expect It To Be As Good As Blade Runner and Alien?

Let me say in advance, please exec use a one paragraph sports analogy.

Can Any Movie
Live Up To This?

I am worried that Prometheus is heading into Lebron James territory. It doesn't matter how good Lebron is he can never live up to what people thought he would be, some mystical combination of Jordan and Bill Russell that would no doubt be able to single handedly win 10 or 15 championships. It is too bad because it prevents us from enjoying what he is, maybe the most physically gifted basketball player of the last 30 years.

There, I am done with the sports part.

Prometheus, to a select group of fans (of which I am proudly one), is expected to be a mystical combination of Blade Runner and Alien, two of the top four greatest sic-fi movies of all-time. Is it fair? No. Is it possible? Definitely not. So the question becomes this, can we be happy with what it is, whatever it is, and not be disappointed by what it is not?

Of course the weekend is about more than just Prometheus. In a brilliant stroke of almost synergistic counter programming Madagascar 3 is also landing on theaters and will almost certainly take the #1 spot at the box office. Other stuff comes out that you may never hear about (except here) or see, but this is a two movie weekend really.

Django Unchained Trailer Is Finally Here

And Yeah, It Looks As Cool As You Thought It Would

Sure, I am "in the bag" for Tarrantino. I'll argue the merits of Jackie Brown until I am blue in the face. I don't care what anyone says, I loved Grindhouse. So, sure, for me to talk up the trailer for Django Unchained is no shock, but still, it looks awesome!

Don't believe me? Take a look and see what you think:

Django Unchained - Trailer / Bande-Annonce [VO|HD] by Lyricis

The 25 Greatest Sci-Fi Movies Of All-Time

In Honor of Prometheus - Which I Hope Will Make This List

25. Metropolis (1927)

Let me say at the start that while Metropolis is undeniably brilliant and light years (see what I did there?) ahead of its time it has also become overrated. Well, maybe overrated isn't the right word, more like it has been misrepresented. This isn't an uncommon thing to happen to older films, particularly sic-fi flicks, we give them a pass based on what they had to work with from a technology point of view. I mention this only because if you haven't seen it and your idea of sic-fi is Avatar this movie may not live up to what your expectations. The visuals are spectacular, but not James Cameron spectacular (because it was made in 1927) and its in German. The story though... the story is something. Metropolis is a utopian society where its wealthy citizens live carefree lives not knowing that the city is powered by masses of people running the machinery that keeps the city working. Sociological and philosophical debates ensue as the plot unfolds.

The End Of The Dominance Of The Avengers

Now We Can Finally Talk About Something Else -- At Least Until TDKR

It Was Fun While It Lasted

There have only been two stories in movies for the better part of the last month. One was the record shattering performance of The Avengers and the other was the dismal performance of every other movie that has been released since The Avengers came out. The second storyline softened mildly last week with the solid if not spectacular performance by MIB3 and both story lines seem to have hit their inevitable end when Friday's box office numbers were released earlier today. On Friday Snow White and the Huntsman did a far better than expected $20+ million, beating the the next six movies combined at the box office and putting itself inline for a $55 to $60 million opening weekend. That is solid "hit" territory for the second week of June. Meanwhile The Avengers dipped 42% from last Friday to $5.6 million, the first definitive sign of fading for a film that has seemed like an unstoppable force for a solid month. Avatar and Titanic numbers seem safely out of reach and the summer storyline now seems to have enough air for Prometheus, Madagascar 3, Brave and The Amazing Spider-Man to thrive until we possibly go through this all over again with The Dark Knight Rises in a little over a month. 

Opening June 1st: I Used To Think I Was The Only One Who Didn't Like Kristen Stewart

But Apparently The Producers Of Snow White Think A Lot Of Us Do

Fairest Of Them All?

Let me say, first and foremost, that I am exhausted. I know no one wants to hear people complain about themselves when reading about movies but I am really tired and I am 1000% sure it will effect what I say about this weeks openings how. I will have less patience with things that don't look good. I will be less excited about things that just look OK. I will have more typos and analogies and metaphors that make no sense. And above all else I am going to be comically brief (well, comically might be a bit of a stretch, but brief for sure)

It is oddly appropriate that I so wiped out for this weeks movies because they aren't movies that would generate rapt attention or long exposition. I have already been marveling for the better part of a month about what I elude to in the title, that the producers of Snow White and the Huntsman clearly don't believe Kristen Stewart can draw anyone other than Twilight fans (and may well push the non Twilight crowd away from their movie). Their systematic removal of the lead actress from all of their promotional materials has been equal parts hysterical and fascinating (this is not hyperbole, Rhiana has more screen time in the Trailers for Battleship than Kristen Stewart has in the last few Snow White trailers -- and she is playing Snow White!). And Snow White and the Huntsman is THE release this weekend. So, let's see if we can break a record here -- the quickest previews of all time.

On your marks. Get set. Go!